Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Hehe...
Um, yeah...
Exhausted from work this evening, I arrived home and whipped out a fresh can of Chef Boyardee. I put it in the microwave, took it out and, to put it quite literally, "slurped that shit up." (I happen to really like Chef Boyardee...the mini raviolis are my favorite...and yes, I am a freak.)
So after my intimate moment with limp pasta from a can, I headed off to bed to get some rest before driving to Indy tomorrow morning...completely unaware of the horrors that laid in the hours ahead...
About an hour into my nap, I woke suddenly to a small "clunk" at my bedroom window. I look over and see that the bottom part of my blinds were parted open. Now, normal people would see this (actually they wouldn't because they wouldn't wake up to such a small sound, but whatever) and turn over and go back to sleep. I see this, my body clenches up and I bury myself under the blankets, fear consuming my entire being. Mind you, this morning I had forgotten to close my bedroom window before heading to work...thus, my head flooded with images of grossly oversized creatures who would tear my screen apart and prance their way into my apartment with the sole purpose of scaring the shit out of me and then in my paralyzed state, take me down, rip out my guts and "slurp that shit up."
It could happen...
Anyhoo, I did manage to take a few quick peeks out from under the covers to see "what was up"...now again, normal people (who are actually still asleep) would get up, turn on the lights and see what was at the window. Here's a quick recap on what I did...
I stared at the figure by my window, not blinking. After, say, about two minutes, my eyes began to water, and the figure began to take shape...antennas...three antennas...about six inches long...a big, fat, shiny body...the antennas are moving...
THEY'RE MOVING! AIIIIIEEEEE!
In a split second I was out of bed and on the other side of my bedroom door, panting and crying like a little kid that had just been legitimately scared. I stood by the door and wrung my hands for a while, desperately seeking a removal plan for the monsterous scary bug...
After considering everything from heading over to the local WalMart to pick up a .10 gauge to hurling a teddy bear at the creature, I decided to turn on the hall light and open the bedroom door in hopes that the light would scare it away. Alas, it didn't move.
I sat down on the futon for a while and pondered further action. Then a thought struck me...could it possibly be my froggy light catcher that just happened to fall down? Nah...besides, the little shit moved! I saw it! However, I can be delusional at times, believe it or not...I should just buck up, march right over to the bedroom, flick on the light and face the enemy, one on one...
After a few more cigarettes to calm my nerves, I took a deep breath....then another...then tiptoed my way to the bedroom door. Adrenaline pumping, I cracked open the door to see if it was still there. It was. I then shut my eyes tightly, reached over to the light switch, and...
Okay, the light is on, I thought to myself, now the battle's on, I just gotta get to it before it gets me. I started doing the wide tiptoe thing like you see in cartoons, when Tom is trying to catch Jerry, eyeing it up the whole time. I peeked around the corner of my bed and a most horrific sight appeared............
IT WAS THE BIGGEST MOTHERFUCKING SCARY BUG IN THE WORLD!!
...Yep, it was my froggy light catcher.
My pride took over at that point as I pretended that the last half hour never occurred, to avoid the embarrassment of how my paranoia unfolded itself ...
And now here I am...
Such is the life of a lonely single woman...
- posted by Sherri @ 11/05/2003 07:05:00 PM
Sunday, November 02, 2003
Oh, God...
I can't feel anything anymore...I can't eat, sleep, have happy thoughts...all I seem to be capable of doing is crying and smoking, (both of which I am quite proficient at, I might add)....
Why don't people acknowledge me? I ask myself this, though the answer is painfully clear...
People most often see the "outside me", not the inside...I can't let them, and if they try I must turn their pretty little heads away...no one wants to be associated with unhappy people...previous experiences have proven this...
I tell people I am "okay" even though I know damn well I am not...They see this and assume I am fine, and then turn away...
I do not form close bonds with anyone, this to avoid rejection and hurt when these people see that I am a different person than what I portray to the public.
It's a vicious cycle, I do realize this...
It's starting to reach a breaking point...I don't want to hurt anyone anymore...
I don't want to hurt anyone...and I don't want to hurt anymore either...
Arrgh...
Somebody email me, will ya? Give a gal something to do??
Thanks.
- posted by Sherri @ 11/02/2003 09:32:00 PM